Joy. That’s what was missing. I’d gone over draft after draft, completed both major and minor revisions. This is part of any writing process, to be sure, but the mechanical nature of writing a dissertation was painful, and I combated it in two ways: leaving space within my chapters for storytelling and descriptions, and…
…writing other things. And by “other things,” I mean fiction.
It had broken my heart when I realized that reading had become a chore in grad school, so I made a point to fix that (and succeeded). But writing. I couldn’t lose that, too.
So in the middle of writing a dissertation, I started 1) writing a new novel, 2) revising an earlier draft of another, and 3) jotting down some travel adventures and other musings (some of which are published on this site).
Why, you may be asking, would I do that to myself? I already had enough writing to worry about.
The answer is simple.
Writing–and, yes, even revising–fiction has never felt like work to me. I love coming up with scenes, then later embellishing the descriptions or tightening up the prose. Adding vignettes, putting my characters in charge, picturing everything like a film in my mind. I love figuring out a concept for a short story or novel, and then putting together the plot. I also love getting my personal thoughts and experiences down on paper.
And no, it did not “take away” from my dissertation-writing time, which I kept carefully compartmentalized and away from all other parts of my life.
So why in the world did I go and get a PhD? I’m still sorting that out, actually. I had wanted to be a history professor, once upon a time, but that dream pretty much fizzled out toward the beginning of grad school, when I decided I wanted to pursue a career outside of tenure-track academia.
Side note: One of my main fiction jams has always been historical fiction. So. Some expertise there has helped with my writing in that genre. I can apply my research skills–and the stuff I actually like about doing history–without being bound by certain scholarly rules and expectations. I can paint a picture of a time and place without worrying that it’s not “academic” enough.
I know there are some scholars out there who would be appalled by this, but they’re not me, and my life is not theirs.
Plus, creative license is nice. As is not writing footnotes.
Anyway.
My point is this: If you want to write after (or even while!) finishing a PhD, but you don’t know where to start and you’re less than thrilled at the prospect of turning your dissertation into a book anytime soon, ask yourself:
What do you like to write about? What do you like about the writing process itself? What brings you joy in your life?
ONLY the things you like, nothing else.
Make a list if you have to. And start there.
Maybe you want to write a story from the perspective of your cat. Some Disney fan fiction. An editorial about the state of the world. A funny account of your travels. A political satire. An ode to your coffee cup. Or even something in your field that you wanted to write about in grad school but your professors thought was not important enough (insert eye roll emoji here).
Whatever it is, make it something that you’re happy and excited to write. Something that compels you keep a pen and paper next to your bed–just in case you wake up in the middle of the night with an idea.
If you love writing, but the PhD messed that up for you, start small. Go with your gut about the writing that makes you happy. Ignore your dissertation once you’ve defended and submitted. Be proud that you did it, but step far, far away from it for a while.
And then, if you do ever decide to turn that dissertation into a book, maybe you’ll have distanced yourself enough to appreciate it again.
